sometimes i am scared of emotions because i know they hurt sometimes.


i can't believe a bunch of kids woke up yesterday ate breakfast went to school to learn and were murdered.

i can't believe a bunch of kids woke up yesterday, ate breakfast, stood outside and lined up for school and were stabbed.

i can't believe that once people are gone...all you have left are memories and paper.


that's all you get.

i'm so thankful for friendship and family.

I'm thankful to be loved so deeply by the Lord. I'm thankful for the song "mango tree" by angus & julia stone

i'm thankful for a day of sleeping in.
allowing emotions to surface.
going home in six days.
knowing beautiful people and being loved by family...
getting to hug a stranger today & hopefully make them feel loved.

i just want to love better.

i'm disappointed in myself, i guess. for not always doing my best.

i'm thankful for people who saw me when i was hurting badly and didn't even know it myself. because of those people, i'm alive today.

i'm thankful for iron + wine pandora station, stress relief candles, clean water to drink, and having peace.

i'm thankful for laughter. i'm thankful for my godson, who just found out i'm his godmother (a few days ago) and was excited. that everytime i talk with him he asks me where my dinosaur is....his memory. his laughter, silliness.

i'm thankful for my smallest friends and all they've taught me throughout the years.

i'm thankful for people i've met and have yet to meet.
that i can choose to love.

::currently::

feeling: refreshed. spent monday in the mountains with friends...oh man, good for the soul.

listening to: chuck ragan, loud harp & keeping the ipod on shuffle. (living life on the edge)

reading: minding frankie and the alchemist. every time i pick up the alchemist i like to have my journal with me to write down a quote from the book.
Here is one i really enjoy.

"at that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. but, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their personal legend."

learning: how to dream and knowing that dreaming is good. i have, unforunately, lived the majority of my life with a fatalistic mindset and i am unlearning that to relearn the child like life.

thinking about: taking time for myself and valuing who i am more...taking time to feed my soul. and keeping in touch with long distance friends and family.

thankful: for facetime, texting, days off where i can adventure and be at peace in a new setting. dreaming and not being afraid, while still be a little afraid...red nail polish! glitter and red lip stick. and earl grey tea this morning. what a blessing.


happy wednesday! i love you.