Sunday, October 11, 2009

jeez louise.

i want to go on a walk, but it is very cold outside and i know that Lori doesn't want to go with me. because i have already asked her like 5 times, within five minutes...somehow, she still loves me.
I really appreciate her friendship, because we can always be silly together. I love being silly with people. especially because it makes me realize just how weird i really am. I think i am missing my cell phone today, because i sent myself a text message from Lori's phone. the text reads: Hey best friend, i hope you're having the best night of your life, even though i won't go on a walk with you, because i am a pansy. love you! ...I do love it, and i think Lori does too...haha. Seriously, i love her a lot & watch football with her, because i love her.

This past week was super busy and challenging for me. I'm adjusting big time to living up at Eagle Rock *the mountain campus* It's gorgeous and i LOVE the mountain air, but it is 24/7 work. I sat in class a lot this past week, because it was bonding week...and it was so interesting hearing all the students stories. I haven't shared mine yet, but i hope to soon. I can't expect people to do something if i am not doing it as well. *like sharing and what-not*
Vulnerability, at times, can be the hardest thing for me. Its hard to talk about life things, because it can bring all of it back to me. I think it is healthy though & at times beneficial.
Things change so much in life. Its crazy, to think that these past few months have been full of change, just in small ways...God is so good to me, to stay the same and not shift on me. It would hurt so badly if he changed on me, so i'm glad he doesn't. It's comforting and i love that.

Sometimes i like when relationships the broken relationships *or the ones i thought were broken* in reality, they are just in repair. Kind of like stitches, because they come closer and closer to restoration each is just a slow moving process. But i guess it's good to take the time, sometimes. I love that God loves reconciliation, because it is amazing. It makes me be a humbler (i doubt that is a word) person. And i need less of me, because i am selfish and i don't like it. I don't want to be as selfish all the time. Sometimes i feel like i get wrapped up in all the things i want, rather than seeing God and talking and asking what He may want. How he wants relationships to work, how i can love better, etc.

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