fear.

i am afraid of losing
i am afraid of loss.
i am afraid of my unknown future
i am afraid of flashbacks happening
i am afraid of stupid things

anger

i am angry that this fear wants to control
and drive me.
i am angry that i let it sometimes.
i am angry that things fall apart.

thankful

i am thankful that there is clarity
i am thankful that i'm not lost
i am thankful that i'm not abandoned
i am thankful that God is faithful
i am thankful that i'm safe & protected
i am thankful to be living as a child in the light & no longer in darkness
i am thankful that pain doesn't have to be my sweater anymore
i am thankful that i can trust You Jesus.
i am thankful that you have restored relationships within my family
and i am thankful for the time i've had to spend the past few days w/ them.
i am thankful that you give opportunity to us and that you want the highest and best for us.
even if it is something that is tough, even if it is something i don't really understand.
thank you that you don't require that i understand, but that you just want me to take you for your word.

and thank you for the time to write this down
and thank you for the prayers.

finally...thank you that my list of thank you's is much longer than my list of emotions.

i love you.

Sincerely,
Allison Lois