whoa whoa whoa

sometimes it seems like i'm not going to do things right. like sometimes i think that i'm not walking the way i should w/ God. and then on wednesday we were in worship and he was telling me all this stuff and i was crying because it was so incredible. He is incredible. His faithfulness amidst my doubt and insecurities keeps me secure.
i found out that sometimes when children are crying its because they want to be held closer and i guess that's my true heart's desire as well. to be held closer, with each step i take toward His throneroom, i just want more. I want more so that i can go out in boldness and strength. That i can be certain of what i don't see and won't see, but i can be certain of Him who holds me so tightly and lovingly. Such a gentle person, such a heart to love me. a messed up little lady whom he, somehow treasures.
It is incredible, it is amazing, it is and will probably always be a mystery.

thank you for giving me the strength to stand, thank you for carrying me these past few years and for showing me how to stand and how to walk. thank you for being all the things i am not, thank you for showing and extending to me Your grace and goodness. Thankyou that i can trust love. fully and completely. I pray that through this weekend and this next year and everything that Your soul would be permeating my heart so that i can do your work God.
let me be willing. Let me remember the big picture and the little moments and the things you want for me. Thank you for wanting the highest and best for me even though it sucks sometimes because i want everything to happen RIGHT NOW, i know that your timing is good. i know that Your words are true and i love it. i love it i love it so much.
You brighten my day
You give peace to my heart
You let me trust
You trust ME with Your kids and give me
Better plans.
Thank you God. Thanks so much.