reflecting on the middle east. i've just begun my reflection time beginning last week and into this week. i will post things i've learned through many people and many circumstances. but tonight i am here to write about one of my best friends. to my Nicky, first of all, how did i get so blessed and so lucky to have you as my sister? You have such a strength within you that i don't see in many people. You love bravely and give so much of yourself to others. You give your time, you give your resources, you are constantly giving your best for others. you are a true friend, you are a true light in this world. you choose to see the best in people. you are very honest, which is one of my favorite things in another person. i admire that in you. i admire your ability to see a weakness and choose to correct it, then move on with the Lord. I love that you are not afraid to be beautiful, i love that you're pushing forward amidst storms and chaos. i love that you choose to believe, even when you can't necessarily see or understand, you keep your feet planted in the rock who's higher than you. i love that you are bold. i love that only YOU can make me laugh so hard and i love the connection we have. i thank God for you everyday, because you push me to be a better woman. Thank you for being such an example of grace to me Nic, i love you truly and from the bottom of my heart. my prayer for you this beautiful first year of your TWENTIES! (when did we get so old?) is that you open up your heart even more to receive this crazy good love our Father has for us. That He enriches you with wisdom and blesses you with more JOY. and that you understand him more and more as Your redeemer and that you feel goodness wash over you. remember honey: i carry your heart. always. xo allison lois harrison

today God spoke to me something my heart needed to hear *yet again, it seems*


"you can trust Me."


my heart has not been processing much of anything lately, because i have a tendency to think if i do not think about the things in life, then maybe, they don't exist. Or maybe, they won't come to pass.
These things are lies i tell myself, to bring myself comfort. It's funny because i know the greatest comforter of them all (Jesus) and i choose to ignore the hurt, put on a brave girl face, and walk forward...which is fine, but i have learned throughout life so far that God is about getting to the root of our pains, and working through them to bring good out of our grief.

about a month ago i was staying with our school at the mountain campus because we shared our speaker with the other DTS running up there. i was texting my best friend, keeping her updated on "the hap's" up in the mountains. the 3 of us ended up skyping for a little bit because i had time...and it was good. Dakota and Colleen had gone to barnes and noble and were catching me up on their days...i honestly can't remember what we talked about, we were just trying to plan our next hangout sesh with all 3 of our busy schedules...it can get tricky.

Anyway, Colleen said she wanted to talk to me, so we planned for lunch on friday of that week, because i would be down the mountain.
I saw Dakota on thursday night, because i needed to grab some things from the house (see: down comforter, i was fahhh---reeezingggg! up in the mountains!) and she seemed kind of down, not like herself...

i thought it was because i was gone and the house just gets lonely when one housemate is missing from the mix...so i hugged her twice before i left, told her i loved her, and that i'd be back in one more week (as we had another week up in the mountains).

driving up the mountain, i was contemplating what could be hurting her so much?

I didn't think a lot about it, but just prayed that she could feel God close to her, because He's the best comforter of our souls in every situation.

that night as i was falling asleep, i felt a jolt in my Spirit and thought: Colleen is moving! i began to cry, panic, then fall back asleep, but not before texting Dakota asking if it was true.

she never texted back, i was stressed as we drove back down the mountain, thinking about whether or not one of my best friend's might be moving.
ANYWAY.
we had lunch at our house, as i walked in they both looked somber so i just asked what was happening?
she filled me in:
Her husband got his dream job! and had an interview out in California.

we sat at the table and cried, because it's so bittersweet seeing people move forward....into new adventure and direction.

This friday the three of us will be road tripping out to California...to move our best friend into her new city.
We will explore, we will breathe ocean air of San Francisco (beautiful place, with beautiful people) and we will celebrate.

Life is beautiful, no matter what. i really do think it. and i realize it is a bold statement, but i think if we continue to look, we can find the beauty in life.

I'm so excited, that one of my best friends is married, and going on this adventure with her man. They are embracing a completely new place, together, and just being married. It's pretty sweet.

And on the upside, now this gives me and Dakota more reason's to visit California!

God is so gracious, to tell me, before she told me. That she was moving.
I needed it, i needed the forewarning.



Anyway, I think mainly i wanted to write this post because i just love God.
I love that He's consistent and constant, He cares and He's so personal.
He is so infinite, but he wants relationship with us, He wants to protect us from things and He
wants us to grow. He wants us to be closer and He still gives us our space.
He is my protector He is my refuge, He is my strength. i couldn't do anything without him, because
i'm born needing Him. i'm born needing to live life for Him and i want to do that.

i think right now i'm just trying to not live my life based on my emotions, but to recognize that it's healthy
to have emotions, but to continue to ask God for His perspective on life, cause i need to know what He's thinking
too.

beautiful Jesus

If only we could be a bit more like Him, the world would be transformed. When I look at the Cross of Christ, what I see up there is all my s--- and everybody else's. So I ask myself a question a lot of people have asked: Who is this man? And was He who He said He was, or was He just a religious nut? And there it is, and that's the question. And no one can talk you into it or out of it. *Bono*


whole article:::

http://www.thepoachedegg.net/the-poached-egg/2010/09/bono-interview-grace-over-karma.html

it's all about perspective:::


my car wasn't working a few weeks ago, then i went on vacation, then i came home and one of my good friends
totally fixed it! within an hour.

so it's been running great for like a week and half and then it totally stopped working again. i didn't know what to do, then i texted my friend & told him what was up and he was like: oh, okay. i'll be there in a second.
i texted my other friend to tell her i couldn't come over anymore, b/c i was stuck at chipotle..and then she said oh, i'll be there in a second.

i was getting all flustered and semi-stressed (like i tend to do, little bit dramatic over here...workin' on it)...so they both showed up in like ten minutes from me talking w/ them and my friend tried to fix my car. it didn't end up working out but by the end of the hour of trying different ways to fix it we were all cracking jokes and laughing.

i was reflecting on this at work the other day and realized how blessed i am.
i have friends in my life who just drop whatever they're doing to come help me. not for any specific reason really, just because they care. God shows me He loves me through so many different things, and in those instances it was through my amazing friends.
I can't believe how lucky i got, and i how blessed i am to be surrounded by such beautiful people on a day to day basis. and even when those beautiful people live in so many different places, like California, Canada, Arizona, Mexico, whatever....we're still able to keep in touch through phone conversations or the magic of Skype!


I got to spend Christmas in the desert with one of my favorite people in the world (and also, i am pretty sure the only one who reads my blog?) reminisce on our beautiful family, spend my new years with my best friend, and so far just soak in the beauty that is Colorado winter.

today i woke up then went to run errands with my best friend and just have fun. when we came home it was just beginning to snow.
snow is one of my favorite things.
i also got to drink my favorite chai today.
i went to a one year old's birthday (my godson Levi Breaker)....also, when did i become the girl who got excited about a one year old's birthday party? who knows, probably when the kids started getting so darn cute! oh man, he's a looker for sure. he's such a joy and such a little love!

i love that i see my friends having families. i love that i've known someone for so long, saw him fall in love, saw him get married, and today i saw him celebrate his son's birthday! life is so magical. it's such a beautiful gift.

friendship.
wintertime.
laughter.
peace.
joy.
everything is such a gift and i like opening it up each day. i like starting and seeing and trusting and knowing the goodness of God.

i like that God cares and that God provides (even in the craziest situations) i like being friends with God.


what do you like about life right now?

comment below!


please remember:
you are beautiful and you are loved.

new years eve was perfect.

i made my first chicken dish EVER! and it was delicious. she made biscuits and we watched a movie and chilled.

i fell asleep at 11:15..and then woke up this morning at 8:30.

i'm excited about this fresh new year.


have a great new years day everyone.
you are loved.

At times in life i choose to let fear in and just surrender to it. to live in my old self instead of who i truly am in Christ. Who He's originally designed me to be, to be my whole self...all the time.

He's telling me that it is okay to dream...and to dream big.
He's told me this in the past, but i didn't understand what He meant, until recently...when i realized that it is actually safe to dream with God.
There's no safer place than the place i've found with God. This place of being close to one another, the fact that He's always there to talk to and i can give my whole heart to him. He's so good to us, because He pursued us all first.

1 John 4.19
we love because He first loved us.

random side-note ((when i did the school of biblical studies in Kona, i had to read the bible in it's entirety...so when i looked up this verse online i thought: i want to know the whole context of the verse.))


*Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God & knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, god lives in us and his love is made complete in us. We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "i love God" yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot glove God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command; whoever loves God must also love His brother.
1 John 4.7-21


lots of words up there.
I really love that God's love drives out all fear. He's shown me His perfect love in all circumstances i've faced in life...and the sometimes the best thing is when He doesn't say anything to me...in moments where i have a trillion questions and a huge ache in my heart for things i can't have anymore....He's just there for me. And i'm able to just talk to him and i feel loved.

OH.
the point of my blog!
i just got super side tracked. lo siento amigos!

anyway...a long time ago i saw a small hot air balloon hanging above my friends desk and i LOVED it.
our friend made it for her, so i asked him if he might make me one too...and he said okay.
(i said this a long time ago, or at least to me it was? i dunno, i'm bad with time). anyway...he told me my
birthday present would be late because he was working on it.
i went to my desk and he hung up this mobile he had made of a parachute and clouds.

the whole thing represents, to me, that dreams are beautiful and beauty is everywhere.
All in all, it made me feel special to have something so unique and one of a kind given to me from my dear friend for my
birthday.
And for God to immediately bring me back to what He's teaching me. To dream big dreams, bigger than i can even think...and that it is good for my soul to dream.


my prayer of blessing for you as you go is this:

that you feel God's love for you so deeply that it couldn't be any other thing...that you'd just KNOW in your soul that you are adored by the King of Kings and that He cares for you, even the silliest things, he cares about those because He will stop at nothing to make you feel special, to make you feel loved, to show you He cares.
and that He releases more joy than you will know what to do with this Christmas.

You are loved and You are cherished.

grace and mercy
you're confronting me daily.

these past few weeks and months have whisked by like tiny gazelles.
it's december already.

four years ago i felt so alone. on an island surrounded by people who did not know me.
or that part of me, my Denver family.
my heart was torn up.

i spent almost an entire year trying to figure out some deep issues with the Lord.
once i thought i figured it out or had some clarity on it all...i received a phone call from one of my best
friends.
that two of our friends were shot.
hyperventilating...i started saying: they're gonna be okay (and continued repeating it to myself)...people around me
were praying. i called a ton of people telling them to pray (demanding it).

i do not know how i fell asleep that night.
when i awoke my friend Dave asked me if i was okay and i told him i couldn't talk, i had to call my friend.

so i called my friend Will and he told me she was gone.

and i broke.
i broke in more than just two pieces.
because after what seemed like a lifetime of questions (or at least 11 years)...i thought i had them answered.
i thought they were done for.
but now, i had so many more things to ask God.
i needed some heart surgery. because it was broken.

four years later. living in this city. working where i do.
i just feel blessed.

i miss her and do not understand.
i still have a lot of questions and a lot of desires...but i'm so grateful.
to have known someone so loving.
all the time...and so funny. and beautiful.

like i said four years ago.
she was pure sunshine.
she radiated God's love and it was beautiful.


i'm grateful///